Question

Topic: Just for Fun

Good Joke

Posted by Blaine Wilkerson on 4/2/2004 at 9:14 AM ET 1000 Points
good joke
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  • Posted by Pepper Blue on 4/2/2004 at 10:09 AM Accepted
    A guy walks into a bar with his dog on a leash the barman says, “Geez that's a weird dog: he's stumpy-legged, pink, and doesn't have a tail, but I bet my rottweiler would beat the heck out of it.”
    50 bucks is laid down. Out in the yard the rottweiler gets mauled to pieces.

    Another drinker says his pit bull will win but the bet is 100 bucks.

    Another trip to the yard and when it's all over there are bits of pit-bull terrier all over the place. The drinker pays up and says, “Say what breed is that anyway?”

    The owner says, “Until I cut his tail off and painted it pink it was the same breed as every other alligator.”

    Ha Ha Ha!

    O.K., one more:

    A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" :)



  • Posted on 4/2/2004 at 1:27 PM Accepted
    A piece of string walks into a bar and says to the bartender: "Gve me a beer."

    The bartender replies: "Sorry sir. We don't serve your kind here."

    Dejected, the string runs out the door and proceeds to slump to the ground and writhe about in despair. Finally, he pulls himself up and strides back into the bar.

    "Give me a beer," he says to the bartender.

    "I told you before, we don't serve string here," says the bartender. "Can't you read the sign?"

    The string replies: "I'm a frayed knot."
  • Posted by Blaine Wilkerson on 4/2/2004 at 10:59 PM Author
    Bar joke:

    A guy walks into a pub and grabs a stool at the bar next to another man. They drink for awhile and manage to get pretty sloshed.

    Suddenly, the first guy says, " I'll bet you $25 that humans can fly!"

    Second man says, "No way, you are crazy."

    "No really, come on up to the roof and I'll show you."

    So the whole bar goes up to the the roof to watch the event.

    The first guy leaps off the roof and gently drifts down, slowly flapping his arms throughout his decent.

    After landing safely on the street, he shouts out "See, I told you! It's all in the flapping. You have to flap you arms like wings!"

    The second guy, in total shock and amazment says, "Wow! If he can do it, I sure can!"

    So he steps to the edge, leaps off, and plunges like a rock to street below.

    Everyone goes back indside and the first guy sits back down at the bar.

    About that time, the bartender leans over and says, "You know, you can be a real ass when you are drunk, Superman."



    Light bulb:

    How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

    None. The light bulb has to want to change.


    One for the road:

    Michele, Jim, and Amanda Vega are going for a trek across the desert. Each of them can take only one object with them.

    Jim takes a solar powered fan.

    Michele takes a hand fan.

    Amanda Vega takes a car door.

    Jim and Michele ask Amanda in awe, "Why on Earth did you bring a car door?"

    Amanda replies, "Duh! So when I get hot, I can just roll down the window!"




  • Posted by Paul Linnell on 4/3/2004 at 1:54 AM Accepted
    Hi Jett - and all

    If you are looking for a regular fix of fun - try the site of Patricia Cameron-Hill and Shayne Yates. You can register for a regular e-mail compilation of the latest jokes they have collected. You can find them at: https://www.chy.com.au/

    Bye for now

    Paul
  • Posted by Chris Blackman on 4/3/2004 at 5:50 AM Accepted
    Heard after a particularly heavy landing, the following comment from a rather buxom female flight attendant to the red-faced airline captain.

    "Captain, when you know it's looking like a rough one, give us some warning and next time I'll get the girls to wear their sports bras!"
  • Posted by Blaine Wilkerson on 4/3/2004 at 8:10 PM Author
    What do you get when you mix and agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?

    Someone who stays up all night wondering if there really is a doG.
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