Question

Topic: Taglines/Names

Current Promo Tagline For An Academy Is Too Long

Posted by gloriatovar-rosado on 9/21/2010 at 2:54 PM ET 275 Points
Hi I'm creating a flyer to distribute to several local businesses and I'm pretty happy with it except for the promotional tag line:
"We Guarantee You Will Love our School so Much, We Offer a Free Trial!"

It's too long and I just don't like how it reads. Please help!
Thank you
To continue reading this question and the solution, sign up ... it's free!
SUBSCRIBE
Or, SIGN IN

RESPONSES

  • Posted by Inbox_Interactive on 9/21/2010 at 3:11 PM Accepted
    What kind of academy are you talking about?

    If this is for a children's school, I'm not even sure I like the idea of a free trial. A money-back guarantee, perhaps, but not a free trial. I also don't like the word "trial" here.

    If you're committed to that offer, though, I'd lead off with it. You're not getting the good part until the end.

    I'd also specify how long the trial is.

    Get your first week free!

    or...

    If you don't LOVE us, then you don't PAY us!

  • Posted by gloriatovar-rosado on 9/21/2010 at 3:16 PM Author
    Thank you for your answer!
    This is an early childhood education academy. It was previously viewed more like a daycare but we are trying to change that image and emphasize that we are highly academic. Also, the offer is one free week tuition. Not really committed to it, just trying to get some attention.
    I like that last line "If you don't LOVE us, then you don't PAY us.
  • Posted by michael on 9/21/2010 at 8:19 PM Accepted
    Gloria,
    Not enamored with "guarantee" in these situations. What if someone says "I lost my money and 1 week of education at better place". So the small print takes away with "guarantee limited to return of tuition". Wow, that's great. Ho-hum.

    Day care? It's more like 'mind-care'. 100% state certified teachers.

    Tell the parents what you're doing, they can figure it out for themselves.

    Michael

BACK TO TOP

Post a Comment

Related Discussions

Community Info

Top 25 Experts
(Taglines/Names)