Question

Topic: Copywriting

Need A Good Headline For Hair Therapy Ad

Posted by Anonymous on 5/11/2012 at 9:55 AM ET 125 Points
I am placing an ad for a Hair Growth products (Shampoos, topical treatments, etc) in a golf magazine and am looking for the perfect headline.

I have a picture of a man swinging a club and one of him in a victory pose. I want to portray that confidence, Winning Spirit, drive, etc. all comes from a renewed appearance, due to having more hair.

I was thinking "Confidence, Drive, and a Winning Spirit...
It all comes with a fuller head of hair!" but i feel its a bit old school. Although the audience are golfers.

Anyone have any good ideas for this type of ad in this type of publication?
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RESPONSES

  • Posted by Gail@PUBLISIDE on 5/11/2012 at 10:52 AM Member
    I like your headline... speaks to your audience and I assume you'll have a photo to match.
  • Posted by rachikwon on 5/11/2012 at 12:38 PM Member
    I think your headline is good it just need more reconstruction try adding words that describes golfers or common words used by them.
  • Posted by Jay Hamilton-Roth on 5/11/2012 at 6:09 PM Accepted
    Look Great On The Course
    Great Hair, Great Game
    Improve Your Game With More Hair?
  • Posted by Gary Bloomer on 5/12/2012 at 9:19 AM Member
    Two points:

    1. Instead of asking people to work for free, why not hire a copywriter?

    2. If you want your ad to stand out the image and the headline need to oppose each other. The image can be an odd image and the headline can play it straight, or vice versa. But it's a mistake to go with an odd image and an odd headline, or to go with a straight headline that simply refers to the image.
  • Posted on 5/12/2012 at 9:51 AM Author
    Thanks for chiming in Gary, but this is a fun, social, forum where people answer for points. Its a game, no one is working here, nor should there be any solicitation.
  • Posted by doubleb on 5/12/2012 at 2:34 PM Accepted
    I agree with Gary about the play between image and headline though! Don't fall into the boring, expected trap -- try to stand out. Humor is always a favorite for me.

    What about a head of hair on a golf ball?
    "feel the hair rustling in the wind as you hit that 300 yard tee off" (I'm no golfer so I have no idea what a proper yardage would be or what type of terms describe a great shot, but something funny and authentic!)

    or maybe something about not being able to fake it.. in golf or in "hair" -- think toupe!
    "Some things, you can't fake. But the right product and a winning routine could mean champion-worthy, or envy-worthy hair"

    Needs work, but see where I'm going?

    maybe play around with the idea of golf hats.... a whole row or collection of them in the image...
    "'Product Name' will foster hair growth in just days. Or you could keep adding to that hat collection of yours!"

    :-)
  • Posted by rachikwon on 5/13/2012 at 9:59 AM Accepted
    Great advices guys!
    Here are my suggestions… 
    Confidence wins a game!
    Grow your hair and get your game back on!
  • Posted by Gary Bloomer on 5/13/2012 at 2:58 PM Member
    "A game"?

    Really?

    As one of the Internet's top ten sites on marketing, a site that probably generates $1.5 million per year in ad revenue and subscription fees, I think you'll find this site is about lots of things other than "games".

    "A fun, social, forum where people answer for points."

    As a top 5 contributor, with 161,392 points to my credit, having answered 2,384 questions, 1,762 of which have been accepted, thank you: I'm quite aware of how the forum works.

    "No one is working here?"

    Really?

    I am.

    My direct efforts on this forum for just one client will earn that client $300 million to $500 million dollars in sales per year for the next three to five years: ten times their original estimate.

    As for solicitation, you might want to review the "Hire An Expert" section.

    Good luck with your ad.
  • Posted on 5/13/2012 at 7:23 PM Accepted
    Chris - I definitely would not try to be clever or funny with this ad. I would depict a situation where the pic of the head is in close up, in a golfing situation, and let the golfer readers make the easy connection. Perhaps when he bends to address the ball and you can see the top of his head? Most shots are from the front.

    But the copy must simply state what your product can do for him - be very blunt. Putting humour in an advertisement is VERY difficult even for top copywriters. Agency writers do it for TV, but they are not writing for magazines. It is a tough brief!

    Good luck with this!

    Peter

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